The Life and Times of Harry Potter
by Kirk4ever
Summary: This is a prehogwarts story. it doesnt really have a story line, it's basically a collection of oneshots, two in every chapter. Not sure about the rating, but i dont think anything bad is in the story.
1. Amazing Apperation, Helpful Healing

The Life and Times of Harry Potter

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Emily Vance and Miss Wooter

"What's the time Mister Wolf?"

"One O'clo –" a little boy with black hair and green eyes cut the girl off in the middle of the game. He ran straight through the children, sped to the other side of the playground and turned left, towards the kitchens, not stopping. Behind him were a group of bigger boys that looked at least 3 or 4 years older than the other, but little Emily knew that they were actually all six or seven, in year two at Little Winging's Primary School. Behind them was an extremely fat boy. He was panting as he ran, with sweat dripping from his blond hair, in fact, he wasn't running (more like waddling!) and his hair was plastered to his scalp and forehead by the extreme amount of sweat his body was producing by this simple act of running. As horrible and fat as he was, some parents found it amazing that Dudley Dursley had many friends, but he did, and it was those friends that were currently chasing the smaller boy.

Every child on the playground turned to see the chase and its conclusion. Every day at lunchtime, Dudley's gang would chase his cousin; no one really knew why, but no one really cared either, so it was never stopped. All the children in the area had been warned about him – his parents had been drunks and he, according to his uncle, was heading the same way. No child dared to make friends with 'that Potter boy', so young Harry made friends with the stray animals that hung around the school

Most days, Dudley and his gang would catch Harry, and then proceed to beat him up. He was strange, that Potter lad – one day he would go home littered with cuts and bruises, the next morning at school, he would be miraculously healed! Today was different though. Today, Dudley's gang ran screaming out of the alley behind the kitchens, and (as everyone on the playground stared in shock) ran inside yelling for a teacher! Still babbling loudly, they dragged Miss Wooter over to the alley, and almost all the children followed, dying to know exactly what was going on.

When Emily Vance got to the passage, she stared in astonishment and complete disbelief. There, standing on the roof of the kitchens was six-year-old Harry Potter.


	2. Mighty Metamorphmagus, Playful Pranks

Miss Wooter was sitting in her chair, with her year three class on the carpet in front of her. They were in the same positions they always were – Dudley and his cronies were at the front, little Harry Potter was secluded at the back, with his nose in a book, and the other fifteen children were scattered between them, leaving a good metre between themselves and Harry. It was a Friday afternoon, with ten minutes until home time at three. The class was presently sharing week-end plans with each other and their teacher.

As normal, Harry Potter was completely absorbed in the book he read, but his teacher still got the impression that he was paying more attention than most of the class.

"Harry, what about you? What is your family doing this week-end?" asked his teacher. The boy in question sapped his head up and spoke in his regular, quiet voice, with a hint of embarresment.

"My Aunt is taking me to get my hair cut, coz she says it looks like a mess, miss."

"It wont make that rat's nest look any better, Freak!" Shouted his cousin Dudley from the othe side of the carpet. Harry went red, and buried his head once more in his book, the last few pages of _The Horse and his Boy_. Harry Potter read one book every week, but he never took them home, and whenever he was reading fantasy, he had a guilty look on his face. His teachers were perplexed by it. Harry read more than anyone in the school, and yet his reading diary was never signed at the end of the week!

Next Monday, Harry came into school looking exactly like he did on Friday if a little more shrunken. He had the expression of one who was in BIG trouble, but his cousin looked like the cat that got the cream. When Miss Wooter asked if he did go to the barbers, after asking what everyone else did on Saturday, he sunk into his chair and mumbled something about cupboards, freaks and hair growing.

Harry's bad mood only got worse over that week, and at lunch, he would wolf down his free lunch as if he hadn't eaten for days. Finally on Thursday, he had had enough and when Miss Wooter was 'being mean', her hair turned blue! Everyone in the classroom stared, and then they burst with laughter, and hysterical giggles could be heard from the infants corridor.

Narnia


	3. The One Without Aliteration!

This chapter is for goddessa39who was the first reviewer for this story - thank you for the encouragement! sorry for the short one, but i have nearly run out of ideas - sea below.

After the day Miss Wooter got blue hair, related incidents would pop up all over the place. Harry's teachers always seemed to get different coloured hair whenever they upset him, but he couldn't explain that. Fortunately, no teachers ever suspected that poor little orphaned Harry Potter would or could do such a thing. The incidents could never be traced back to him, so he never got in trouble and his guardians were never told. This, at least, Harry was thankful for.

He never revealed information about his home life. He never told anyone that he was sometimes locked in his room with little food or water for sometimes as long as a week. He never exposed his room's location. All he ever said was that his room was small and downstairs. Even at a very age, Harry did not like being patronised or pitied, so in all his pictures of home, his room was always the small, dark one downstairs. When he was asked why his room was so dark, he replyed that he liked the dark.

Whenever he was asked about his room, Dudley would gaffaw loudly, but he claimed it was due to an exceptionally funny joke he heard at the time. There were an awful lot of jokes told on Dudley's table.

Look, people, i have nothing else to go on here - i have run out of ideas. i have one more chapter written, but then, if you want me to carry on writing it, you need to say something, otherwise the story will be put on a permenant hiatus. sorry those folks who wish for more. just a small idea would be enough to go on really!


	4. Incredible Invisibility, Masterful Magic

On a normal Saturday morning, most mothers would take their children shopping and most fathers would speed off to work (to get there as quickly as they could so they can come home early!). The Dursleys were no exception. Every Saturday, by nine o'clock, Petunia, Dudley and Harry would head down the road to Sainsburys, and Vernon would get in his big, expensive car and drive to work.

On this particular Saturday, at this particular time, Miss Wooter was also in this particular branch of this particular shop. As Mrs Dursley's shopping trolley went round the corner between the frozen food ant the refrigerated food, Harry saw his oldteacher. As I'm sure you know, it is not every boy's wish to be spotted in the supermarket by his teacher. The young boy remembered all those times when no-one would notice him, just because he didn't want to be noticed – so he starting wishing!

"Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me." He repeated the expression over and over again in his head, and before long, Miss Wooter approached the family group, and then amazingly, she just passed on by them without stopping or giving Harry a second glance. Apparently, she didn't bother Aunt Petunia unless he was there to give a spark to the fuel! When he stopped the mantra, Aunt Petunia snapped at him for walking off, and Harry realised he had done it! He had somehow made himself invisible and then visible again!

When the 'family' got home, Harry helped to unload all the heavy bags of shopping for his aunt. As soon as that unpleasant task had been completed, Petunia gave her nephew a sandwich and a small glass of lukewarm water. When the boy had finished his lunch, he was sent to his cupboard to sit quietly and pretend he didn't exist and it was there he repeated the mantra.

"Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me." He whispered it over and over as quietly as he possibly could, and soon, the youngster noticed a tiny change in his appearance. After the chant had been repeated enough, his skin blended in with the background! Harry couldn't tell if he was invisible or just camouflaged, but whatever he did, the boy vowed to do again – every time Dudley or his gang caught up with him.

Of course, as with the best-laid plans, the theory didn't really work the whole time and he still ended up bruised from 'Harry Hunting' games all year round. He could only get away using invisibility when he could turn a corner before the other boys caught up – even an eight-year-old boy knew that only he should know about his extraordinary powers.

* * *

Harry groaned (quietly) and got out of his moth-eaten bed. It was Monday morning and on Friday afternoon, Dudley had stolen his homework, shredded it, scrunched it up, spat on it and then thrown it away in the big dustbins outside. Harry had only just finished it too!

Oh the joys of year five.

He had never got homework before, but now the teachers said his class had to start preparing for the S.A.T.s in May next school year. Instead of the occasional set of spellings to learn, he now had to do a reading exercises once a week, do a maths and science sheet each week-end, and occasionally write a story over two weeks!

Harry groaned once more, turned on the light and began to get dressed. But wait… there on the floor…what was that? Harry picked it up and looked at the paper carefully. Hang on a minute. He turned it over and gasped, his jaw dropping like an anchor. It was his homework!

From that day onwards, Harry decided he didn't really care what Dudley did to his homework – after all, it kept reappearing, so what did it matter? Every time Dudley 'ruined' Harry's work, it would reappear the next day on the floor, by his bed in his cupboard. Sometimes it would even be in better condition than it was before Dudley got hold of it – less crossings out etc. It was like magic or something!

Because the Dursley's hated anything out of the ordinary, Harry never told them the real reason he always had homework to hand in, even when they watched their son destroy it. He just said that he had re-done the work, and Uncle Vernon would always laugh at that point.

* * *

S.A.T.s are tests that English children do in May time ish at the end of year 2, 6 and 9 (Harry's age's: 6, 10 and 13). In this part, Harry is 9, nearly 10 so is in year five. The kids are tested on Maths, English and Science, or were when I was that old. I'm not sure if they were around in this story's time frame, and I think that now they have to be tested on IT (computers). Like I said, I'm not sure. 


	5. Perfect Presents, Jaded Jealousy

Thank you very much, DemolitionxLovers for the ideas needed to make this chapter, and the incentive to look for more accidental magic in the books; I haven't found any yet though!

To smirk73 : if that was meant to be a flame, it was pitiful. Perhaps you should look up the words "constructive criticism" and try to give some. You say I have missed out a lot of points, well perhaps I could correct my errors or do better in the next chapters if you could elaborate. Normally, I would respond to a review as a reply so that other readers do not have to read the replies, however you did not sign in, although the name implies that you do have an account. If you have to insult someone (and yours is first bad review I have received from ANY of my stories) then kindly do so in a way where they myself in this case can respond appropriately.

Everyone else reading – thanks, sorry about the reply, and can I please have a few more ideas for pranks!

It was Dudley's sixth birthday and the 'family' had just sat down to breakfast. The birthday boy was trying to count his presents, but only made it to ten when he ran out of fingers! He wailed for help, and scowled at his cousin when Harry calmly announced that he had twenty-four – two more that last year. Petunia Dursley and her husband glared at their nephew, before proceeding to grill him on how he could possibly know. Harry had a small voice, and answered them in a quiet, but firm tone,

"I counted them earlier aunt petunia, uncle Vernon – after I finished my bacon." The adults clearly didn't believe him, but the pending tantrum by their son prevented them from saying anymore. To avoid the outburst, they instructed Dudley to open his presents before they had to leave. Dudley complied with amazing speed, and soon, Harry was admiring his cousin's new red, shiny bicycle while Dudley was asking his parents when they could get rid of Harry. On Dudley's birthday, his parents would take him for a trip with a friend. This year, Ashley Gordon was the company, and the two boys were headed to the bowling alley, and the arcade. They would probably be given ten pounds each to spend on the slot machines, and Harry would be left at Mrs. Figg's house for the day – just like every year.

This year though, Harry really wanted one of his cousin's presents. This year, there was a new bike. It was sitting there, newly unwrapped with a bell and a light, the gift was just asking to be ridden, but Harry knew Dudley would manage to break it on his first ride. If Harry wanted a go, he would have to sneak in a ride first – yeah, like he would be able to. The young raven head didn't even know ho to ride properly – the Dursleys had never seen fit to teach him.

He was packed off to Mrs. Figg's house soon after, and there, he spent the day wishing he could be at home, riding on Dudley's new bike. Aunt petunia came to fetch him at seven o'clock – half an hour before bedtime. He was left just enough time to wash his face and brush his teeth before being locked in the cupboard for the night. His dreams were filled with the dings of bicycle bells and the joy of riding.

The only catch – he was riding a broom not a bike.

The day after what Harry called the 'bicycle sighting', Harry woke as usual to his aunt's screeching and went to watch the bacon and looked at the residue of Dudley's birthday. The new computer game was still there, as were some of the toys, but most had been relocated to Dudley's second bedroom. The boy noted with sorrow that the bike was no longer there, but he assumed it was in the garden; a bike was too dirty to be in petunia Dursley's house! He soon found that he was wrong.

Dudley walked into the kitchen, ready for his breakfast, without a care in the world.

"Mummy, when can I get my new bike fixed?" Harry was shocked – Dudley had broken his bike already! The boy was angry too. How dare he break it and not even care – didn't Dudley realise how lucky he was to get even one present, let alone a new bike plus twenty-four others! He knew the bike wouldn't be fixed; it would be thrown away, just like everything else Dudley didn't want. The boy saw red spots in his vision and shook his head violently. He couldn't let his at tension wander.

Dudley started to scratch his large backside; he soon couldn't stop and began to wail that his bottom was itching. Harry later found out that his cousin had large red spots all over his skin, but it wasn't chicken pox as the boys both had that when they were three. Harry couldn't help but laugh at his cousin's predicament.

this is edited - thanks again DemolitionxLovers!

my life is in chaos so updates will be slower - for more details see my profile


	6. Atypical Aliens, Stupid Sweaters

As always, thanks to DemolitionxLovers and everyone else who reads AND REVIEWS (hint, hint)! And as always, ideas will be welcomed.

It was a Sunday afternoon, and Harry had been dragged along shoping with his aunt and Dudley. Aunt Petunia wanted to buy some more clothes for Dudley, and thought they could make a day trip of going to London, much to her son's excitement. Going to London meant a long car journey (A/N that is relative to a child – it is about two hours I think from Surrey to London – if anyone knows, I would love to!) and a long car journey always means a new game. All Dudley ever did was watch TV, play games on his computer, and beat up Harry.

His cousin was less excited – he would most likely be left with Mrs. Figg, as always, but the old lady had gotten an urgent call from someone, and had to go to Scotland for a week. (A/N I wonder where she went?) Harry would have to go too! When he heard the news, he concealed a grin, and tried not to make it too clear how happy he was. Going to London! Wow!

They went to the edge of London by car, and then got the underground to Oxford Street where both boys were dragged in and out of many clothes shops without stopping. In C&A (this is actually a real shop, I don't own it and it used to be there, but isn't anymore), a tiny man with a violet top hat had bowed to Harry! He was shocked and scared, especially when after asking her nephew furiously if he knew the man, Aunt petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything! When Harry looked back, the strange little man had gone, but the boy just assumed he had gone into a different part of the shop.

It seemed to be a day for strange things too! When Dudley started to complain about the long walk back to the station, they all trekked onto a double-decker heading towards Oxford Circus Station. A wild-looking old woman dressed in what looked like a dark green dressing gown waved merrily at Harry. Startled, he waved back with one small hand, and unconsciously moved closer to his aunt, and further away from the stranger. Petunia may have hated, even loathed her nephew, but she still looked after her, and Harry craved the support that a child can only receive from a nearby adult who they know will look after them. His aunt clothed him, gave shelter and food – Harry was never abused or neglected to illness, but he knew he wasn't loved – he wasn't even sure what exactly love is.

When the frightened boy looked back for the strange old lady, she was gone. He was confused, he didn't think there had been any stops, but she might have gone downstairs when he wasn't looking. People had a habit of vanishing when Harry was looking – he wasn't concerned.

It was December 1984 and Aunt Petunia had decided that it was too cold to let her nephew go around the house without a jumper on. She had gotten hold of one of Dudley's old jumpers, the worst one Harry had seen yet. It was a revolting old jumper – brown with orange bobbles. Harry may not have been very old, but even a three-year-old would know it was horrid, and Harry was four and half! All he wanted was not to have to wear that revolting old thing. He promised what God was listening that he would be upset with his chores for a month if he just didn't have to wear the terrible thing.

Above his head, aunt petunia was still trying to pull it over his head. He was obedient, and had his arms up for the jumper, but he just didn't want to wear it, and it just didn't want to fit! It seemed to Harry, that the harder it was pulled it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until finally it might have fitted a glove puppet, but it certainly wouldn't fit Harry, even a year ago. Thankfully, aunt petunia didn't notice that the sweater hadn't started out like that, and instead blamed the wash. To her disgust (and his great relief), she could not punish her nephew for this – how could little Harry have shrunk the blasted thing?


	7. Merry Marge, Heartbroken Harry Part 1

Harry Potter was a small four year old. He was nearly five, and had started school this term, but today was Dudley's fifth birthday party, though he looked like and eight or nine year old. It was Harry Potter's cousin's birthday party, and about twenty children had been invited – who knows how he managed to get that many friends when he was such a bully! Twenty guests meant an extra twenty presents, making the total thirty-five birthday pressies! Harry was even allowed to attend the party, because it would look bad if the neighbours knew that he was not part of the family – perhaps every now and again, he could be 'ill' and not attend a family event, but not today; today Harry was at his first birthday party. He was under strict supervision, and he knew that, but even so, he was determined to have fun.

After everyone had arrived, aunt petunia began the party games. Normally she wouldn't engage in such an unusual activity, but her Dudders wanted her to the party "properly" as he had screamed at the top of his lungs. She gave in quickly, not wishing to deny he baby boy anything, and so musical chairs, pass-the-parcel and musical statues were to be played before presents and tea. (BTW, that doesn't mean drinking tea, I mean food – we do NOT drink tea the whole time in England!)

The music began, and all the kids started to move around the room, dancing and generally having fun. Harry was a little more hesitant than the others, but when he saw that he wasn't being punished for joining in, he really put his heart into his dance moves, and running around the chairs. For one so small and having never played before, he was excellent at the game, and soon, just five children were left 'in' – Harry, Dudley, Sarah Green, Steven King and Charlotte Grass. First Sarah, then Charlotte became 'out', and then it was just the three boys.

Harry was so excited; he might actually get the prize for winning! Unfortunately, he had counted Aunt Marge as a threat to his prize. He was so enthralled with the game, he hadn't seen her sabotage anyone who might beat Dudley in his own party – Helen Gumdrop fell over suddenly when she might have taken Dudley's chair, Arthur Frizzlepop just left the game, and was seen later munching on a packet of _Magic Stars_, when the food was not even out!

The music started; there was much suspense; who would win this game?

The Grand Old Duke of York  
He had 10,000 men  
He marched them up to the top of the hill  
And he marched them down again

And when they were up they were up  
And when they were–

The music stopped, and the three boys scrambled to get to the chairs. Steven sat down first, and then it was just the two cousins battling it out.

Harry was nearly there, one step closer, one more, one more, he was nearly there –

He was on the floor, his shins hurt, and Dudley was sitting on the remaining chair. He stifled a whimper, and turned his head to see Aunt Marge grinning wickedly at him.

Just a short one, I know, but I have got behind, so the next part should be out soon, but it would have held back this chapter. I thought I should just post what I have here anyway. Only got a couple more chappies left, so I am now thinking about how to end it properly …


	8. Merry Marge, Heartbroken Harry Part 2

Well guys, this is the last chapter of The Life And Times – there isn't much else to write, and I want to concentrate on other stories at the moment. In a couple of weeks, I might start posting a story that will be sort of a sequel, but I want to write a few chapters first. You never know, if I get writers block, I may well post another chapter of this one… keep an eye out. I will change the status to 'complete', though. Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you reviewing some of my other stories!

…A few years later, she had turned up at Christmas with a computerised robot for Dudley and a box of dog biscuits for Harry…

…On her last visit, the year before Harry had started Hogwarts, Harry had accidentally trodden on the paw of her favourite dog. Ripper had chased Harry out into the garden and up a tree, and Aunt Marge had refused to call him off until past midnight…

It was December 1987. School was over, and children were anticipating Christmas day. So far, in surrey at least, there hadn't been any snow (I have no idea if it snowed that year…), but children and adults alike were praying for some; dreaming of a white Christmas. For one little boy, and many others like him that are not integral to this plot, Christmas was nothing special. For him, there would be just one or two presents to open on Christmas morn, and then he would be locked in his room for the rest of the day, with two sandwiches and a glass of water. This boy's family were not poor, in fact, the Dursley's were quite well off, and though they didn't know it, the boy they saw as a burden was one of the richest people in the country. The boy was Harry James Potter, their nephew.

It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring … just Marjorie Dursley grunting in her sleep. She had arrived the night before, bringing gifts for the family and their nephew, and was now situated in the spare room of Number Four Privet Drive.

That morning, Harry made breakfast, and watched as Dudley opened most of his presents, then Harry got his. It was from his aunt and uncle, wrapped in a Tesco's plastic bag, but Harry didn't care. He knew it wouldn't be a good present, and he was not disappointed when he found a safety pin and a used hairbrush – Dudley broke it last week, he knew – in the package. Aunt Marge thought petunia and Vernon were being far too generous to him, and said so in her very loud voice.

"You took him in, out of the kindness of your heart, and feed him, clothe him and shelter him. Petunia, just look at what has happened! Look at the boy's face – he isn't even grateful for that gift. Why, if he had been put on my doorstep…" The boy in question tried to tune her out, and for a while, he succeeded. Then, he was caught off guard when she handed him another gift. He nearly gasped in shock, 'for me?'

Knowing that Dudley had received a robot as his present, the seven year old eagerly ripped open the paper. It was just the right size to be a packet of Lego, or something, and he was very excited. It was a bag of dog biscuits.

The family around him laughed, and chucked him into his cupboard with two sandwiches and a glass of water.


End file.
